MH INITIATIVES
MEHREEN HASHMI

WRITINGS

I suffer from developmental trauma as after effects of 20 years long physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Now that I can share my story , I share my social struggles and thoughts as a catharsis.

What are friends for ?

Human beings are social animals, as a matter of fact, we all know that. We are born in families which we don't choose then we make friends which we choose to all extents. Usually its very common to have childhood friends, colleagues who become friends, neighborhood friends, adulthood friends and so on. It's a human nature to take those who are given or gotten by chance, incident or easily. In my case, I have never got anything easy.

I have not been so lucky in this regard. I don't have a best friend so to speak but do have some close friends. I was not allowed to make friends during my not so happy childhood. Why and how is that possible? That is another long story, today I only want to talk about my friends. I want to talk about those who have been there and who have not been there.

There have been those who helped without asking a question. There has been those who cared and came to be there without me asking for once. There has been those who disappeared during the most difficult days and came back again to enjoy only good moments.

There has been those who never knew me and perceived another person of being me. There has been those who worried about my worries more than me. There has been those who did not return my call in my time of need which was only emotional support. There has been those who have been happy with my accomplishments and growth and those who could not stand it.

There has been those who only wanted entertainment during a hangout and rest never mattered for them. There has been those who instead of giving a hug when I had my first car accident, tried to make out with me instead. There has been those who only looked at me as a girl with only one purpose, you know what I mean.

There has been those to whom distance don’t matter and there has been those who are far away while being at shortest distance. There are those who never show any understanding and there has been those who don’t need your words to mention your agony.

There has been those who could only demean instead of acknowledging. There has been those who bring out the best in me and show me the brighter side always. There has been those who pull me together and made me stand on my feet while I was falling.

It has been a long journey and I have been through a lot of life-changing experiences. During some period of time, I did not have any friends. No one wants to be a friend with so many extreme problems in her life. Before that, there was a period when I was hopeless, homeless and jobless. I had to stand my own grounds and help did come in form of friends who cared.

I did not get that opportunity of keeping connections, making friends, going for hang-outs and enjoying picnics for a very long time in my life. When you are out there with nothing, you have bigger problems than making connections. It has been a difficult but a very valuable journey through which I kept meeting the most amazing people during the different periods of time. For those who could not be the friend in need and for those who used my sincere love for them towards their own motives, I learned a plenty of lessons, they showed me the value of my good ones.

Being a friend is a beautiful connection, it's from one human to another. Its only about a thought which cares for you and an effort to show that care. We all come with a baggage and we all have to carry it all alone but as I said and as we know, human beings are social animals. We have a need to share our happiness, agony, excitement, and despair. It’s all about a thought which can cheer another person. You don't have to be there physically most of the time. Human beings are social animals, as a matter of fact, we all know that. You can either make it and grow with it or break it for a timely advantage.